6 Tips For An Awesome Quickie

Ladies, an easy way to make your sex life more exciting is by squeezing some quick sex in an unexpected time or place. Don’t underestimate what you can accomplish in a few minutes in a dive bar bathroom. Here are 6 things to keep in mind to have amazing sex in practically no time.

1. Psyche yourself up.

You don’t have time for an hour of foreplay, so get yourself in the right mindset fast. Fantasize good sex, put yourself there. It helps to touch yourself just a little — touch your breasts, your thighs, anything that feels good. Even crossing and uncrossing your legs can help, since rubbing your thighs together increases blood flow to your genitals.

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Okay, so you haven’t primped, groomed, and you’re wearing granny panties. Who can think about granny panties at a time like this? When a guy is about to have sex, his brain is in a different place, and he’s not worried about it. You shouldn’t be, either.

3. Time it right.

Find a time when you have a few minutes before you have to be somewhere, not when you’re already really late. The afternoon is a great chance for quick sex because that’s actually when our sex drives are the highest. Plus, it’s an unusual time to be having sex. We’re usually glued to our computers. Mornings are nice, too, when you can take advantage of his morning hard on.

4. Try an unexpected place.

Pull your guy into a bathroom at a bar or anywhere you don’t usually have sex. I was on vacation with my boyfriend and parents, and we were sharing a room. (Yikes.) I locked my boyfriend in the bathroom of the hotel lobby, which made the trip incredibly memorable. I’m glad we had to resort to that option.

5. Leave some clothing on.

Leaving your skirt on with your shirt unbuttoned is hot. It’s one time your boyfriend won’t mind that you still have some clothes on.

6. Get in the right position.

Up the chances for an orgasm by leaning on a chair, counter top, or the wall and letting him enter you from behind. And remember, even if you don’t orgasm, it’s still a totally hot experience.

Networking Tips: Go From Awkward to Awesome

Networking events aren't really that hard: Plan your work, work your plan. Here's how.

 

For those of us who are not natural extroverts, networking events can be painful. It stinks to be in a crowded room at one of those tall tables with no one to talk to, a small plate of cheese and grapes in front of you, a glass of cheap chardonnay in one hand and your business cards in the other.

What’s a person to do? Networking events have earned a bad rap because of the awkward social situations we tend to make them out to be.  The event organizers had the best of intentions--to help you build your connections.  Yet, there you are, surrounded by people just like you, people who needed to meet people.  Just not people who needed to meet you.

In my last column, I talked about how highly successful women build game changing relationships that help them launch and run their businesses.  I have a secret to tell you about these women: They were not big fans of networking events either.  Or at least, they thought they weren’t until they figured out how to find great new business relationships at the right events.

How can you maximize your time at a networking event? Follow these five steps and see where they lead.

1)     Know who you don’t know, but want to. Analyze your relationship map. Is there a specific person or type of person you need to meet?  Maybe an industry expert who knows about selling into the Fortune 100?  Or the head of procurement at a key prospect in your pipeline?

2)     Do your homework.  There is no shortage of networking events, and they come in multiple flavors: by industry, specifically for entrepreneurs, women-only. Which networking event is right for you?  Do a little background research and see if any of the people you want to meet are speaking at local events.

3)     Know your story and your audience.  Now that you know where you are going and who you want to meet, get your talking points together. Don’t be too practiced, though. Different people will respond to different things.  What business are they in? What role do they have?  What are they hoping to achieve?

4)     Know your ask, and don’t be shy When you hang out with wildly successful people, you will find that they tend to be pretty vocal about they want and they are not afraid to ask for help.  Asking for someone’s advice about a topic they know well is a great way to get a conversation started and bonds formed.  It’s pretty cool to have your ask turn into a successful person’s thoughtful input on what they would do if they were in your shoes.  That person you are talking to becomes engaged in your success.

5)     Do what you say you will do.  You are done. You went to the event, worked the room because you had a plan, and you executed on that plan.  Sure, you were a little nervous before every new encounter, but it got easier as the night progressed.  Now, it’s time to act.  Take up your new connection’s offer to help.  People attend events because they are social opportunities to meet new business connections, share their platform, and learn new things.  The rules of dating do not apply. Don’t wait; follow-up promptly.  Be persistent while also being respectful of your new connection’s time.

Now, put on your favorite shoes, load up your business cards, and go make some friends.  Most of all, enjoy yourself.  Believe it or not, networking events can actually be fun.

How to Be Awesome (Middle School)

Tired of being a boring, replica of everyone else? If you are, here's how to be different, yet awesome.  

Steps

1. Do not copy from anyone else. This may be the most important step. Forms of copying include:
   • Clothing. You can shop at the same stores, but try to avoid getting the exact same shirt/shoes/whatever. Avoid prep stores all together. (Exception: A plain v-neck, or a long-sleeved shirt to go under a t-shirt for winter)
   • Hair. Try getting strips of colors! Most people don't do this. If your parents won't let you dye your hair, try extensions, which can be found at Claire's, Hot Topic, etc.
   • Personality. Trying to copy the most popular person in your school is going to get you no where. Trust me, it's a lot more fun being yourself. Stop worrying about what others think of you, because years from now, it won't make a difference. (:
   • Avatar. It's recommended to find one you like, but don't copy others avatars.

Personality

1. Remember, appearance does not make up for personality. Don't become obsessed with finding the awesome clothes first. Work from the inside out.
2. Look inside of yourself. Do you love video games? Books? Comics? Anime? Art? Writing? Music? Find something you love, and express it. If you like books, always be seen reading. If you like music, learn an instrument. It's all up to you.
3. Stop listening to mainstream music. Here are some good bands to try:
   • Green Day
   • Simple Plan
   • MUSE
   • Panic! At The Disco
   • 30 Seconds To Mars
   • Bullet For My Valentine
   • deadmau5
   • Skrillex
   • Paramore
   • Skillet
   • Hedely
   • Secondhand Serenade

If you want, you can look more into more music, and decide which you like most.

1. If you want, play an MMORPG. Wizard101, RuneScape, ROBLOX, etc.
2. Don't be mean to anyone. Just because you're awesome doesn't put you above everyone else. Even the most popular, snobby person in your school has feelings. In fact, being mean ruins your awesomeness all together. But don't take crap from anyone, either.
3. Consider taking a martial art.
4. No matter how 'uncool' it could sound, don't do drugs, smoke, weed, alcohol, etc. Anyone can be cool, but it takes skills to be awesome. If you're awesome, you won't care about pure pressure.

Personality

1. Remember, appearance does not make up for personality. Don't become obsessed with finding the awesome clothes first. Work from the inside out.
2. Find something you love, and express it. If you like books, always be seen reading. If you like music, learn an instrument. It's all up to you.

 

The 6 Keys To Being Awesome At Everything

I've been playing tennis for nearly five decades. I love the game and I hit the ball well, but I'm far from the player I wish I were. 

I've been thinking about this a lot the past couple of weeks, because I've taken the opportunity, for the first time in many years, to play tennis nearly every day. My game has gotten progressively stronger. I've had a number of rapturous moments during which I've played like the player I long to be.

And almost certainly could be, even though I'm 58 years old. Until recently, I never believed that was possible. For most of my adult life, I've accepted the incredibly durable myth that some people are born with special talents and gifts, and that the potential to truly excel in any given pursuit is largely determined by our genetic inheritance.

During the past year, I've read no fewer than five books — and a raft of scientific research — which powerfully challenge that assumption (see below for a list). I've also written one, The Way We're Working Isn't Working, which lays out a guide, grounded in the science of high performance, to systematically building your capacity physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
We've found, in our work with executives at dozens of organizations, that it's possible to build any given skill or capacity in the same systematic way we do a muscle: push past your comfort zone, and then rest. Aristotle had it exactly right 2000 years ago: "We are what we repeatedly do." By relying on highly specific practices, we've seen our clients dramatically improve skills ranging from empathy, to focus, to creativity, to summoning positive emotions, to deeply relaxing.

Like everyone who studies performance, I'm indebted to the extraordinary Anders Ericsson, arguably the world's leading researcher into high performance. For more than two decades, Ericsson has been making the case that it's not inherited talent which determines how good we become at something, but rather how hard we're willing to work — something he calls "deliberate practice." Numerous researchers now agree that 10,000 hours of such practice as the minimum necessary to achieve expertise in any complex domain.
There is something wonderfully empowering about this. It suggests we have remarkable capacity to influence our own outcomes. But that's also daunting. One of Ericsson's central findings is that practice is not only the most important ingredient in achieving excellence, but also the most difficult and the least intrinsically enjoyable.

If you want to be really good at something, it's going to involve relentlessly pushing past your comfort zone, along with frustration, struggle, setbacks and failures. That's true as long as you want to continue to improve, or even maintain a high level of excellence. The reward is that being really good at something you've earned through your own hard work can be immensely satisfying.
This blog was originally posted at HBR.org and is republished here with permission.

Pursue what you love

Passion is an incredible motivator. It fuels focus, resilience, and perseverance.

Do the hardest work first

We all move instinctively toward pleasure and away from pain. Most great performers, Ericsson and others have found, delay gratification and take on the difficult work of practice in the mornings, before they do anything else. That's when most of us have the most energy and the fewest distractions.

Practice Intensely

Practice intensely, without interruption for short periods of no longer than 90 minutes and then take a break. Ninety minutes appears to be the maximum amount of time that we can bring the highest level of focus to any given activity. The evidence is equally strong that great performers practice no more than 4 ½ hours a day.

Seek expert feedback, in intermittent doses

The simpler and more precise the feedback, the more equipped you are to make adjustments. Too much feedback, too continuously, however, can create cognitive overload, increase anxiety, and interfere with learning.

Take regular renewal breaks

Relaxing after intense effort not only provides an opportunity to rejuvenate, but also to metabolize and embed learning. 

It's also during rest that the right hemisphere becomes more dominant, which can lead to creative breakthroughs.

Ritualize practice

Will and discipline are wildly overrated. As the researcher Roy Baumeister has found, none of us have very much of it. The best way to insure you'll take on difficult tasks is to ritualize them — build specific, inviolable times at which you do them, so that over time you do them without having to squander energy thinking about them.

It takes several hours of daily practice to achieve excellence, so prioritize

                                

I have practiced tennis deliberately over the years, but never for the several hours a day required to achieve a truly high level of excellence. What's changed is that I don't berate myself any longer for falling short. I know exactly what it would take to get to that level. 

 

I've got too many other higher priorities to give tennis that attention right now. But I find it incredibly exciting to know that I'm still capable of getting far better at tennis — or at anything else — and so are you.